Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Something you can say no more

My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth.when it was pulled out, you're relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? probably a hundred times a day. just because it was not hurting you doesnt meant you did not notice it. it leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. its going to take a while, but it takes time. should you have kept the tooth? no. because it causing you so much pain. therefore, move on and let go.

i found this from kak fatin's insta lol.
therefore, im moving on and letting go.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

After the fact

This is a random post. every post is random lol

Currently fighting a massive sleepiness and this is almost like a, serious sexual tension. more depressing than the actual sexual tension. or maybe i just forgot how the tension actually feels like? lalahlaaaaala... i almost fell in asleep in the shower..guess that this means im too sleepy to even comprehend staying up for another second. arghhhhh
because i'm doing physics tutorial,erh cool right? :p

my new hobby anyway. stare at the ceiling like its going to throw me food
and i swear i will never ever ever ever ever cut my hair short ever ever ever again 
oh yea, neck kissing. random much. bye

Friday, December 21, 2012

I've had my fun, let's move on to something else now

Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me
and i know you are like..

Im tired of talking to myself when im in the toilet, im afraid if theres a weird unknown face or ghost that may be appeared suddenly
so i guess i should start writing on my blog again. yes, ON the blog
but everytime i start to write, ....

I just wanna say, what had happened wasnt anybody's fault and i dont hate you, but i just, hmmmm  whatttefuck! haha
yes, emo
its just that, oh whoaa. anything can change in a blink of an eye, woo its rare. or maybe in a blink of eyes. i believe in Allah, that everything happens for a reason,but in this case, FOR REASONSSS. alhamdulillah :)

Yeah, when you fall, you get hurt. it can be hard to walk again, or to even stand up again.
but when you fall in love,its different. you may fall too deep and you never want to get out from the shit ass love :) i know you never tried to dig the hole of love and i never wanna put the blame on anyone because it was what Allah's will and power. i dont regret the past, i know you've tried hard, i know you did love me in the past, i could feel it. or even if you were not trying that hard... it has gone, i do understand your situation. 
i was just. sad and shocked in relief
that finally you decided to stop me from getting hurt by your weird attitudes, cold words and responses, ignorance. well, i should never have cared. but i did, and i still fucking care.

Just,look, how everything happened. we went from talking every damn hours to maybe once or twice a day. we went from loving each other to you, who dont love me back. i know i met you for a reason, for all these years i had spent every single piece of my life with you, thinking about you, crying for you, waiting for your call for the entire day and everyday when you were at hostel. i just dont know what the reason is, or maybe not now. without regret, so i will never be able to regret what i didnt do for love so i will never be able to look back and say 'what if' because i always went after what was. i love without regret so i'll live a life with my love one day. phewww hahah

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

I dont know what this is. I cant explain these feelings. Im not in love but i want you to be happy. i knew i cant always be the one to make you happy but i would love every single oppurtunity to be able to. i want to give you things you've been missing in your life. i want you to know that you have someone you can truely count on to be there for you whenever you need them. you can depend on me.
i want to stand by you no matter what life throws at us, and im willing to fight. because god knows your stubborness and mine have gotten us into trouble before, but i want to work through every single conflict with you.
Its impossible to stay mad at you no matter how deeply you've hurt me or dissapointed me. i want to care for you like no one else has ever or ever will, not even your own mother. you need to know that you can trust me with your secrets, your insecurities, your sillyness and immaturity, with the most important things in your life. i wont judge you , ever. and even if i wont agree with something, it wont make me feel any different about you.
You need to know that you can be yourself around me because everyone needs at least one person who they can tear down the walls with and just be themselves entirely. i wantt to make you feel safe, like you can once again trust the good in people, that theres still hope.thats not all seven billion people on earth are the same. that someone genuinely does care. 
i want to give everything i have to you and i ask for nothing in return. i want to help you to be the best person you wish to be, and i want to be there for you every step of the way because you are important to me and you matter.
i believe in you. i dont know why i feel this way but i do. is this what love is? to sacrifice your own happiness for the benefits of another individual? i dont know about that. but im not in love i guess.i dont even like you. so why do i feel these things for you?