I have interview today, wow. this is a rezeki of a month so far! Alhamdulillah... I'm so happy, i need a job laika seriously...but.. aaah, i have a problem with this gift from god :( (lol padahal baru interview......ahh whatever!) first of all, the problem gonna rise when i start to fuck up with a job life. ( i also said fuck a lot yesterday :( and i hate it ) that wrong feeling when i want to quit! oh ahh :( the procedure...just a lil bit of experience here...
all above is not a problem actually.
no problem at all....i want to say something else which is moreeee important now, the fact that i dont want to go anywhere (have a job) just because...i dont want to leave him, i feel so bad about this. sooo soo bad. i know, i'm sure that he'll be just fine but i just dont want. i dont want to have something else in mind, or physically that has nothing to do with him. studying life has no exception here,which i still feel bad. this thoughts and statements may be too weak. but, whos reading anyway?
i love this moment of life..from the last paper of biology till now. i have nothing to study, read or do at all! i feel heaven, as heaven as heaven. because i will probably spend my next 7 years studying, non stop studying...or maybe for a lifetime after this. but, .... emm not to study or has something to be stressed for is not really a thing for me....actualllllay. the best thing is,
having him around. also not studying.. :) i dont have to worry about things like when he'll be having his extra class, when he's going to end our limited texting session, sunday blues, his busy day, his most tiring day which is every single day at school, his sad day at school or stressful day etc etc etc forever etc.
and of course, im thinking that we're gonna spend more time to get to know each other but i dont know why, once a week dating is such a dissapointment for me. not because of him,nooo!! i just...hmm i'm feeling there's a lack of satisfaction here. i know he dont like this too...but. i kinda fml about this. lol. and there came an idea of having a job, so i dont have to think about dating or seeing him so much. i fak dis. but this is true. maybe wanting to meet him often and always is such a stupid idea because it wont happen.
omg do u understand what i'm trying to explain?!! :(
i love you so much